Crucial Confrontations

Crucial Confrontations

Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior

Book - 2005
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The authors of the New York Times bestseller Crucial Conversations show you how to achieve personal, team, and organizational success by healing broken promises, resolving violated expectations, and influencing bad behavior. Discover skills to resolve touchy, controversial, and complex issues at work and at home-now available in this follow-up to the internationally popular Crucial Conversations. Behind the problems that routinely plague organizations and families, you'll find individuals who are either unwilling or unable to deal with failed promises. Others have broken rules, missed deadlines, failed to live up to commitments, or just plain behaved badly-and nobody steps up to the issue. Or they do, but do a lousy job and create a whole new set of problems. Accountability suffers and new problems spring up. New research demonstrates that these disappointments aren't just irritating, they're costly-sapping organizational performance by twenty to fifty percent and accounting for up to ninety percent of divorces. observations to increase confidence in facing issues like: an employee speaks to you in an insulting tone that crosses the line between sarcasm and insubordination. Now what? Your boss just committed you to a deadline you know you can't meet-and not-so-subtly hinted he doesn't want to hear complaints about it. Your son walks through the door sporting colorful new body art that raises your blood pressure by forty points. Speak now, pay later. An accountant wonders how to step up to a client who is violating the law. Can you spell unemployment? Family members fret over how to tell granddad that he should no longer drive his car. This is going to get ugly. A nurse worries about what to say to an abusive physician. She quickly remembers how things work around here and decides not to say anything. Everyone knows how to run for cover, or if adequately provoked, step up to these confrontations in a way that causes a real ruckus. That we have down pat. in a way that solves the problem at hand, and doesn't harm the relationship-and in fact, even strengthens it. Crucial Confrontations borrows from twenty years of research involving two groups. More than 25,000 people helped the authors identify those who were most influential during crucial confrontations. They spent 10,000 hours watching these people, documented what they saw, and then trained and tested with more than 300,000 people. Second, they measured the impact of crucial confrontations improvements on organizational and team performance-the results were immediate and sustainable: twenty to fifty percent improvements in measurable performance.
Publisher: New York : McGraw-Hill, c2005
ISBN: 9780071446525
Branch Call Number: Business & Career 303.69 Cru
Additional Contributors: Patterson, Kerry 1946-


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tpaciello Sep 14, 2012

Terrific book, good tools for business and your personal life.

iLibrarian Aug 04, 2009

Confronting someone is never easy especially when the stakes are high and “involve broken promises, violated expectations and bad behaviour.” The coauthors of Crucial Confrontations offer a wealth of valuable insight about confrontation that has the potential to both resolve the problem and benefit the relationship.

Using a wide range of workplace and family-based examples, the coauthors illustrate their model for success. The examples are certainly not contrived – they were derived from careful study of over 25,000 people during a period of two decades. They cover all aspects of a confrontation including the thought processes, the decision to confront, how to best handle the confrontation, and how to follow up afterwards.

Accountability and mutual respect are consistent themes throughout the book. Although these concepts are not necessarily new in this context, the authors do provide a fresh toolset to keep conversation “safe” and yet remain focused and flexible. Understandably difficult to master, the theories and suggestions seem valid and immediately applicable to daily life.

For example, the authors introduce a pre-emptive tool they refer to as “contrasting.” Its purpose is to restore mutual respect when you are finding it difficult to give the other person the benefit of the doubt when it comes to the motives behind his or her actions. If you suspect that the other person is going to feel offended or defensive, you should “prepare the ground by explaining what you do and don’t mean.”

Similarly, building common ground before you even mention a problem is important for establishing mutual purpose. By starting with “what’s important to you and them –not just you” will let others know your intentions are to “solve problems and make things better for both of you.”

The authors are thorough and the book is well organized. It is easy to read, light and anecdotal. If you are willing to invest a few hours in the book, you should take away valuable tools you can apply to your life whether at work or at home.

For further information, check out to evaluate your crucial skills, view free videos, practice your role-playing, sign up for online seminars, or read through the archive of questions and answers.


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